A Fresh Start
Starting over without much of a plan is never easy, especially when that “starting over” means pursuing your dreams—in new york city too, might i add. For as long as i’ve been a writer—which i guess has been a number of years if you include my college education and earlier—i’ve always wanted to have a website or blog, some place that i could store all of my work, thoughts, opinions, and experiences. and now, i’m biting the bullet and making it happen. just like that. but it didn’t happen just like that…
about two weeks ago, i decided to quit my job in retail to pursue writing/editing full time. that means spending my time applying for jobs in my field, starting this blog, writing, and reconnecting to my creativity—shaking up the juices if you will. i was beyond scared to finally pull the plug because it meant not having financial autonomy and it meant succumbing to a world of unknowns. will i be able to find a job in my field during a pandemic? what if no one hires me? how will i make connections this far out of college? but i’ve had to remind myself that there’s always a way to start again and that it’s okay to accept help in all of its forms.
on top of this transition is my wrestling with mental health issues. being open and honest about my mental health and the struggles that come along with it is incredibly important to me. i have ocd, anxiety, and depression, all of which effect me in different ways. the depression makes it difficult to get out of bed and to motivate myself to do the things that i task myself with. the anxiety and ocd combine themselves into the monstrosity that is perfectionism—always needing everything to be perect—which makes it difficult to start tasks in fear of them not turning out the way that i wanted or expected them to. in realizing and pinpointing what my difficulties are, i’m better able to prepare and equip myself for the road ahead. I have to become my own source of motivation and create a sense of accountability in order to make this transition manageable and attainable.
my first thought after deciding to start this site was, “let’s go get a planner.” I find that keeping all of my responsibilities and duties in one place makes it easier to know what I need to do to stay on top of my plans. So off i went to t.j.maxx and scored a beautiful gold and purple marbled planner with ample writing space, goal and to-do lists, and monthly calendars.
in the spirit of planning and organizing, i figured out a schedule for my blog posts! You’ll be seeing new content from me on monday/wednesday/friday! you’ll find full articles, blog updates on my life, and also some random tidbits like playlists, OOTD’s, photos, hauls and impulse buys, etc. Gotta hold myself accountable somehow. :) Plus I’m also gonna take you along to my favorite coffee shops. And if there’s anything to know about me it’s that i cannot resist a pastry and a good ole london fog.
I’m thrilled to be starting something that will fuel my passion and creativity, which i haven’t always allowed myself to do, feeling like it was a waste of time and/or energy. though if you love doing something, could it ever really be a waste of time? if it has meaning to you, that’s what counts. I’m so happy that you’ve taken the time to get this far in my first update. I hope you’ll stick around. Thanks for being here. Chat soon.
xx DELIA